Stupidity should hurt

Disclaimer: Repeat - but it is still just as brilliant this time around ;)


I am a procrastinator. That is why idle threats satisfy me. "I swear to god I will kick your ass [later]!" Contingency threats also seem to suit my personality because no one ever really believes said intimidation will ever be carried out, "If she says ONE MORE FUCKING WORD I swear to god I am going to kick her ass!"

I don't believe that I have ever used the term "So help me . . ." I rarely ask for help from others. I am usually all about "I swear to . . ." (see above). I swear a lot, honestly. A jaw dropping amount if we are speaking frankly. I think I said "Fuck!" about 73 times at work last Friday. Bump that total up to 79 if you count on the WAY to work. And those numbers only go higher if I count the combination curses, "FUCKING GODDAMMIT!" or "FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

But yesterday was Heinous, yes with a capital H. If 40 is the new 20 then Tuesday is the new Monday. And I haven't seen the dolphins in a while. Every morning that I see dolphins I know it is going to be a good day. Yes yes, Omen Schmomen.

So I'm sitting here looking down my own top (jealous? you totally should be, I have an amazing rack) and am realizing that I am a seriously freckled individual. I know when I go tan that the freckles REALLY show up, but they usually fade when I haven't been fake baking as much. Which has been the case for the past months. But these are chest freckles and apparently they are here to stay. And no, they are not cancerous moles, thank you very much. I know the difference between a mole and a freckle.

I was quite amused this morning as I saw the typical "feel good, do good, love the earth and all who dwell in it" driver with her "Think Inclusively" bumper sticker on her gigantic (do as I say, not as I do) SUV swerve violently to cut someone off while giving them the finger. It reminded me of the time I was at one of those drive-up mail box drop off areas outside of the local post office. There was a car in front of me and the girl had pulled up to the drop box a bit too far away from the curb. I was far enough behind her that she could have backed her car up and pulled closer so she could reach the mail slot, but instead she just hung out her window and kept trying to throw her several pieces of mail into the slot. One at a time. Her bumper sticker read, "Stupidity should hurt".

Indeed it should.